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I've put this off for far too long
Content to let myself be dragged along
While the world runs along at its crazy pace
And I'm stuck wondering how I can get out of this place
I built myself out of dreams and aspirations
That don't come true when I don't lay the foundations
Painful introspection shows its cost
As I look back on all the time that I lost, and I know that
I'm not as skilled as I thought I'd be
I'm not quite as mature as I hoped I'd be
So when it all adds up it's plain for me to see
I'm not nearly the adult that I need to be
So I find myself having to move from
Who I used to be to who I must become
Real life is hard, but there's no time to give up
Because my childhood is over; it's time to grow up.

But too easily, what I try to pass as wisdom
Ends up just being sophomoric cynicism
Try to shortcut maturity without taking the time
To learn why things are the way they are in this grind
Sound familiar? It's gotta be the same tale
That hits everyone in my generation without fail
And while I want to be above I know that doesn't hold true
Because I feel that sense of entitlement seeping through
Does my dissatisfaction give me the right to complain?
Is contentment something I have to maintain?
Am I being a punk, do I sound like a jerk
When I wish being happy didn't take all this work?
I've learned this before and I'm learning again:
If things are gonna change it's gotta come from within.
I've got help on the sidelines to give a hand up
Time to stop all this moping around and grow up.

I want to be a man; still feel like a boy
Like I'm letting all the little things steal my joy
And I find myself spiraling down almost daily
This self-inflicted vicious cycle that I've made me
I know that I've failed my friends so many times
Will their forgiveness cover all my numerous crimes?
I was once most dependable, responsible, a leader;
Can I rise up again, or am I stuck a bottom feeder?
Can I really be the man that my wife sees in me?
Can I make this the reset I've wished this could be?
Can I end the paralysis that infects my life?
Can I find the sure footing off the edge of this knife?
Maybe questions like this need more than just talk
Enough questioning myself; time to get up and walk.
Crack my wrists, crack my knuckles, brace for the fight
Step back, focus... let's do this right.


from Step Back and Focus, released April 29, 2014
Written by Evan Hildreth (c) 2013




madcrasher Greenville, South Carolina

There is no bio. A bio implies there is, in fact, a story to be told and that this is not, in fact, just some guy messing around on his computer.

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