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Identity

by madcrasher

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1.
It's been a long time coming Promised for a while in Various shapes and sizes Formats and discs, DRM Not to mention employment, graduation Moving in, moving out Old face, new places Several rat races But you know what, folks? Finally that time Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm madcrasher, Yes, I'm the madcrasher, All the other Mad Crasher's are just Mac bashers, That's right, I'm a Mac boy, Like it, love it, or leave it, But you better believe it! But more important, I'm a Jesus boy, Heart, soul, and mind ain't that far behind, And it shows through from time to time, But I'm getting off track here. See, I'm kinda new to this whole rap game From time to time I can be pretty lame So, if you got opinions and insight, Help me see the light! dropanote@madcrasher.com Tell me what I did right, Tell me what I did wrong, Tell me if this song is gonna be a big hit Tell me if my day job I shouldn't quit You know, everything's gonna be alright If God's watching over the house tonight, So get out your chair, wave your hands in the air... Constructive criticism is the name of the game It's how I plan to not sound the same as Every single other white guy out there Smoking fifty cigarettes at the county fair Until we're perfect there's room for improvement Help me out before I hit the next movement Stand up straight, look out below madcrasher's here And he brought the whole show!
2.
The Way I Am 02:38
The way I am And how it relates to the times Sorta like poetry except it has to rhyme But the pencil meets the paper and the words don't flow My study hall is over, look out, it's time to go! Can't write about the ghetto 'cause the streets I don't know Can't write about the blingin' 'cause my money doesn't flow Can't write about adversity 'cause Father's done me well So I'm left with the beauty, no hard stuff to tell It seems like the good stuff is all that's in my life 'Cause I got no major problems, I got no major strife Except for the time when some jerk comes around and Just 'cause of my religion starts putting me down But that's alright man, it's chill, I've learned to deal With the stuff that doesn't matter, can't affect how I feel Can't throw it all away, 'cause it's all a part of me So that's why I ask, 'Let me just be The way I am, not apologizing, hiding, or disguising, Trying to find a way to explain the things I'm finding in life. Am I honestly insane or do I only try to be? Do I make up issues just to boost my eccentricity? Is this really who I am or do I just act this way? But then I can't act out the stuff that I'm trying to say Can't be like everybody, can't go against the flow, So I just have to do the only thing I know: Be myself! And do my best to see Just how God created me to be the way I am Take a breather and give me time to figure out Just what the whole point in this life is all about It's a process to complicated to explain, you know? If all the world's a stage, our lives make up a show For the one that gives us strength enough to live another day Gives me the words to know exactly what I'm going to say Life is a lesson that's kinda hard to know But you'll be given what you need until it's your time to go My poetry's on the floor covered in grime And the Birdman's on me 'cause I'm running out of time Perhaps I should just wrap it up, say goodbye, But cut me some slack, people, it's--my fourth try? I'm just a writer trying hard to make a living With the concrete abstractions my pencil's been spinning Take it at face value, or dig a little deeper, But it's up to you to decide if this song is a keeper. If all this has been done for me all of it's going to pass 'Cause you know only what done in this life for Christ will last This song's been pretty shallow, this song don't weigh a ton So take out your earplugs 'cause MC's song is done.
3.
It goes without saying that we're crazy fools Trying to think that we can do everything, change the rules Of logic, gin and tonic for your crazy mind Ignoring all the rules that you're trying to find Build up all of your plans for a perfect land And facilitate change through a crazy rock band There are lies, bad lies, and statistics we make, But what you're doing takes the cake. Think you're 700 1337 (too leet) For all the humans and the stuff we've been given Like the comic book guy with his collection of PEZ But in the end, nobody ever cares what he says! I don't care how much time you spend thinking of life The things that go wrong and how you can make it right The world's just perfect if we're all like you But we're not... duh? Overanalyze life today Overanalyze everything your mommas say Let me put this up to you in the form of a question: "How we gonna get out of this mess we've made?" Overanalyze truth be told While the people in the world keep getting old Let me put this up to you in the form of a question: "Why you wanna build a nonconformity mold?" People all are different yet we wanna be the same Yet too many of us play the popularity game But maybe, just maybe, that's the people they are While the rest of us take our time to smell the new car But you whine and complain that they're not themselves Tell them to be different just like everybody else They should walk like you, talk like you, But you and I both know they can't be you! Maybe conforming is how they don't conform Maybe not conforming is how you conform Maybe this whole idea of individuality Needs to be defenestrated before it become part of me And don't write me off, or can you not comprehend Ideas not coming from out your own head, and-- (Hey guys, I really don't like this line here, can we skip it?) No rhyme to my reason, little reason to my rhyme So let me at least try to be serious this time Our cultural philosophy has gotten kinda whack With postmodernism, Nietzsche, and You Don't Know Jack But if there are no absolutes, then even that won't hold To your own ideas about the truth being told Freedom of faith is the greatest to confide But who get priority when two freedoms collide? Fair and unbiased has lost its way back We can have any color, just so long as it's black It's time to look hard at the old way of things But if you only replace it more chaos it brings Questioning authority makes cynical and jaded Questioning life makes one tired and wasted Questioning the truth can be bad for your health So before you question everything, question yourself
4.
Everyone has problems, it's a fact of life That this world's rife with things that aren't Pleasant to deal with, and it's hard to admit Even we as Christians have to deal with it Some of us have problems others don't have That's why we help each other on the narrow path But we tend, even with intentions that are good To not tell people what we should. Instead We point them to the hoops that we jump through "It doesn't work for me, maybe it'll work for you." Or worse, we deny the problem outright In the vain hope that it'll disappear overnight But most importantly, put a clean face on And show the world nothing bad is going on But that'll only last until they find out the lies And we all see through your disguise Has it ever dawned on us that maybe this game Is turing off the people that we're trying to save? Our lack of honesty, yes, that's what it is Makes us as appealing as soda without fizz Paul says, boast of your weaknesses Because through them God shows more of who He is Like the bumper sticker says, "Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven!" And that's how we should be living 'Cause Jesus didn't come for the perfect and the right But for people who, spiritually, have no sight And He's making us perfect little by little We're not at the end, we're somewhere in the middle We don't have to, we can't be, so don't even try To be perfect at any point before we die If we can be honest about that, it might show God's love in ways we can never know Wheelin' and dealin's got your shorts in a wad We seem to have forgotten that we can't be God I don't know what the future holds, I say Let's sit back and watch it unfold We're letting the world dictate who we should be But perceptions for us don't make reality I don't know what the future holds, I say Let's sit back and watch it unfold Gain the whole world, and lose your soul If I didn't know better I'd say that's your goal With the issues you bring, and the sides that you take Forgive me if I say you're starting to sound fake As you preach your empty social gospel What's hot always gets the room full But popular positions don't always align with What the scriptures define. See A compromise here, a little shift there, Soon you can't find God anywhere As you're critically acclaimed for your social tolerance Proclaiming to us all that it all makes sense If you read the word this way, Suddenly what's wrong becomes okay, But when your sandy foundation crumbles down Will all those politicians still be around? (I don't think so.) I'm nitpicking out of genuine fear That our American church is beginning to veer Away from the truth that we once professed Trading it for relevance that's fleeting at best We latch on to issues that don't really apply Give them bread and wine then force-feed them pie Driving off our children with issues we make Then claim that it's their mistake? Tell me Will we go to the lions for Christ? Will we risk life and limb for his sacrifice? Or do we sit tight in our SUVs proudly proclaiming "It's all about me!" I'm not singling out, not trying to hide But if we truly are Christ's bride Should we not then be concerned whether if we sit With saints or with mockers? Think about it.
5.
Step outside with me! If you don't look then you'll never see All the beautiful things that we were meant to be Move beyond this low-hanging roof we Built up to keep us dry Look to the sky! It's falling down drop by delicious drop Don't just hide and wait for it to stop A little dance in the rain will be just fine Come out while there's still time! See, the storm won't last forever Life will resume, and we'll go back to whatever we do Stand in line, mark down your time, And work so hard to save a dime, but right now Let's pretend like no one looking They're all, uh... inside cooking up Some lame excuse But not you, you're not self-conscious enough To be concerned with all that fluff... Right? Inhibition's tearing me apart Inside part of me longs just to seize the day I've heard what they say: Odd, weird, uncivilized I wear it with a badge of pride 'Cause you see right now their words don't matter In the broad scheme of things What good is freedom if we're not free to use it Not disrespect and abuse it 'Cause like so many things in life If you don't treasure it, you'll lose it Please don't call the men in white coats Their straight jackets laced up to the throat Have a tendency to suffocate all the good things in life I'm just kidding I'm not clinical like that (just yet) But think about it for a sec Could what I just said really be Some kind of metaphor? You tell me... Inhibition's tearing me apart Inside part of me longs just to seize the day Rainy days don't seem so bad right now Even when blue skies fade to a darkened grey Lose your inhibitions but don't lose your conscience This freedom we have cost a good man his life And some rules are only there to keep us from Things we're going to regret But appearances are meaningless outside of time So for one brief moment Forget everything that you're trying to be Come outside and dance with me
6.
In that moment when reality runs away Imagination, real world fade to grey Sink deeper into my mind Close my eyes, look around, see what I can find There's a guy waiting for me with a tail out his back Fox ears, big sword, and a patched up sack Looks me in the eyes as he says to me "Hey, ready for an adventure?" Off to chart the worlds unknown Sail the seas so far from home Ride across the plains on a dragon's back Fly far away and never look back As dawn approaches we'll hide away Disguise ourselves as we go through the day But as I wake up and get out of my bed Am I me or someone in my head? My mind's up in the clouds as I walk around Too much imagination, need to tone it down Wishing for a grand, lofty destiny Or a bad case of mistaken identity Real madcrasher please raise your hand Are you the one with fur or the normal man Or the one in the middle, can't seem to decide Who he really is, at least on the inside... Wake up in the morning, try to go to class My mind keeps drifting off to where it was last night Sit, try to write things down But I still can't seem to describe that particular sound In the wind that I hear Calling me back home to a place I've never been But how can I imagine what can't be known Describe what can't be shown? My mind's up in the clouds as I walk around Too much imagination, need to tone it down Wishing for a grand, lofty destiny Or a bad case of mistaken identity Real madcrasher please raise your hand Are you the shapeshifter or the normal man Or a bad case of mistaken identity Real madcrasher please raise your hand Are you the leet wizard or the normal man Or a bad case of mistaken identity Real madcrasher please raise your hand Are you cocky fool or the broken man Or the one in the middle, can't seem to decide Who he really is, at least on the inside... There needs to be a separation between The world outside and the worlds inside my head 'Cause a God in my own mind's no good If he has no authority to do what I said Not to mention the other people sitting around me Living their own lives apart from me If they came in they'd run far away From all my thoughts that should never, ever see the light of day Still the thoughts come like a torrent Like stars from the sky over the world below it And I have no choice but to write them down In a flurry of sparks as they hit the ground So I'll keep on writing and I'll keep on rapping Even if the world doesn't like what I'm asking The brain is no place for ideas to stay 'Cause they might be loved someday...
7.
So it begins Broken up, broken down Humanity cries to a dissonant sound As we run around in our miserable lives Our dreams all tainted by cloudy skies Hopes are dashed on the rocks of reality Point the finger, three point back at me No stone to throw, no axe to grind While the situation's there in the back of our minds 'Cause this world's corrupted, this world's impure And if we're bad, how can we hope to find the cure Condemned to suffer for the rest of our days Wondering forever in an endless maze Rotten, tainted, black to the bone Is it our fault we have so many problems at home? Troubles with the world are the talk of the nation But what're you going to do to help the situation? Tell the truth but tell it slant Your only slant is that you won't Let yourself believe... What if I told you that there was a way back To the way things used to be before it all cracked Regain what we lost when our wings fell away Replace the innocence lost on that day But you don't believe me, can't believe me Thinking about it, no, you'd much rather be In your dark hole alone with your mournful sound Ignoring all the goodness going on around There is pain, yes, but there is life as well There are sad yet hopeful stories to tell But you tell the truth from where you see it Leaving out the light as much as you see fit Corrupt situations impossible to fix Innocent men don't deserve forty licks Giving the problem without the solution Plot and climax but no resolution Do you understand when I say the door is open You can be free from all the paint that makes you broken Move past the hurt, put an end to the crying Leave the darkness that's left you dying The hand that waits to help you is left for empty The faith that could protect you is cracked and dirty I tried to brush it off, but you pushed me away Don't look now, I'll be back another day Don't worry about me, I can make it alright As for you, why don't you just go home tonight And think about the life that you've chosen to lead The things that you've lost that you can't concede Weep for the innocence gone down the drain Cry for yesterday and wallow in shame Yell and scream, and when you're through storming Take two prozac and call me in the morning
8.
Quicksand 02:52
Crash into an open door Conflicting lines of thought lay scattered on the floor As I look around at what my life has become A paper thin lie covering the real one What I say doesn't match what I do Telling lies hoping to convince Myself that it's true Responsibilities getting lost in the shuffle Of a mind overflowing and a spirit that's uncomfortable Turned around so crazy don't know what I believe Chasing hard after idols that aren't alive and can't breathe Thinking I can do every single thing that I say So why wait for tomorrow? Do what I can today But look where it got me, look where I'm at now Came up short and now I'm wondering how I can finish what I started when I fell down I can face all the people that I let down I'm sorry my friends, I messed up Because I'm not perfect like I said I was Much as I'd like to think that I'm above it all We all know the prideful are the ones that fall I'm human just like all of you This salvation I claim doesn't fix things overnight Can't claim to be like somebody I barely even know And therin lies the problem... My God, my Savior, how can I come to You With all this baggage I've been carrying a year or two What place do I have among the righteous saints When all I have to offer you is a broken face You offered me food and you offered me drink Offered me everything and the kitchen sink Yet here I am, chained by my own stubbornness That's there even though I should become less I tried to be a messenger that people would receive Tried to be a Christian that people would believe So the faith that You gave me I pushed far away To be more like them in some form, shape, and way I cut myself off from the light of Your grace And now I can't bring myself to turn towards Your face Father, please, restore my broken spirit once again Let me be right with You before I get up again...
9.
Anticipation 02:41
10.
How can I claim hope when there's none to give How can I claim peace when it's hard to live like this I can't hold on to the things that I knew But I don't have a clue what else to do Circumstances are clearly not the best I'm paralyzed but not at rest Praying for divine relief Before my unbelief takes over... Misconceptions of how the world aught to be Like I'm not the ruler of all that I see As much as I'd like to control everything It's impossible for a mortal being like myself I wake up one day Suddenly nothing around is going my way Before long my worries double And begin to burst my security bubble Wake up, my best friend won't talk to me Find out, he's not simple like I want him to be Wake up, teacher picks on a friend I know Find out, his pedestal is actually quite low Wake up, two towers fallen down to the ground Faith in my country's nowhere to be found Wake up, mom and I don't see eye to eye I've outgrown the nest, need to learn to fly Wake up, assignments are harder than I thought Find out infallible is something I'm not Wake up, friend won't take what I hold dear Find out not all who have ears will hear Wake up, a man of God, respected by all Went out for a bike ride, had a nasty fall His mind's gone, and we don't know if it'll come back Tell me, what can I say to that? Times like this I wonder if it's all just an act Motions I go through, pretend I'm back in some Idealistic state of mind An excuse to leave the world behind And put off the inevitable discovery: That life is all that I fear it could be No trust, no God, there's just myself And what little I can do to maintain my health Watch my own back 'cause no one else will Eat and drink until I've had my fill Be sure to grab the big share of the pie Keep my wits about and quit watching the sky My life so far's just been following a lie A sadistic game played until we die And all that's left for me is... I can't do it. There's no way that I Could ever believe that this is all just a lie Maybe I'm too brainwashed, indoctrinated Or maybe it's that God loves when He's hated Maybe I'm scared of how the world is Or maybe the Great Shepherd has marked me as His Maybe I'm tired of sounding alarms Or maybe I just found my rest in His arms I know--I don't know how, but I know That this is the truth Don't ask me to show you A train of logic to give the conclusion That this is more than just smoke and illusion To everything else, at the end of the day There's just one thing that I can say... I can't live that way! What then? If God is truly on our side We can trust that in the end it's going to turn out right It may take an hour, a week, a year We may have to hope that his return is near But providence is somehting no one can explain Just like God's a being no one can contain What's left is to lose the control that I've got And learn that God's God and I'm not So letting go, I don't know what life holds in store I don't know if I'm rich, I don't know if I'm poor I don't know if I'll live to see my grandchildren born I don't know if I'll die before the next morning But I know even if I can't see I'll be just where God in Heaven wants me to be No matter what comes, this thing I know His love will never let me go!
11.
Failures coming back to haunt Faults that I know that I shouldn't flaunt Multiple personalities fight In an epic battle that lasts all night These image problems tumble on Trying to find something to rest upon As I figure out how I can be How I think people think I should be And You're the enigma beyond it all You say somehow I'm supposed to call You Father But is it me You see Or Someone else standing in place of me Do You see my chronic faithlessness My nearly constant selfishness My pining after worthless things That this world always brings? Tell me, What do You see? Am I all I could be when You look at me? What do You see? Am I all that I could be When the lights go down, curtain's up, And You look at me? Do they see You when they see me Or do they see everything I'm trying not to be Do my actions speak what I'm trying to say Or do they just get in the way? Do I seem too arrogant, confident, or maybe Just too sure that what I meant gets through This tangled mess of words I impart To make my lyrics sound more smart? Do I pretend to know what I'm saying While in reality I'm just playing around with You Making sure I don't speak Any promises that I can't keep? Am I someone You can brag about Or are You just sitting there waiting To call me out Or are You too embarrassed, or even ashamed To hear me claim Your name? Let me rest on You for all I am Let me find Your rock in my shifting sands On the narrow road You've paved for me Let me be the man You've made me to be

about

The culmination of the refining quality control process, or at least the process up until the point where I threw my hands up and yelled "[bleep] it! I'm just going to release the [bleep] thing!"

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released January 9, 2009

Produced by Evan Hildreth and Kalen Stanton. (c) 2009 Anticipation Media LLC, Some Rights Reserved.

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madcrasher Greenville, South Carolina

There is no bio. A bio implies there is, in fact, a story to be told and that this is not, in fact, just some guy messing around on his computer.

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